I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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