Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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