We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
