so explain again why im purple
no
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
