He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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