theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
