so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
