she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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