Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
