I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
