just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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