***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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