can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
