Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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