I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
