Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
