i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
