he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
