I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
