hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
