I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
