hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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