end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
