I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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