Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
