allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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