did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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