Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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