Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
