May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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