This girl is more easily done than said...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
