WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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