only if we run a train.
done.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
