Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
