Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
