You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
