My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
