she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
