OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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