Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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