She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize