The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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