I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
