it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I look better un-naked...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we're so committed to being not committed
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
