you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
