New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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