Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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