His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
