ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

  Fav 9 1742 840

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Ontario

  Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.

  Fav 23 3321 941

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

  Fav 27 9323 1179

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..

  Fav 25 4123 1714

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

  Fav 4 7141 1389

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."

  Fav 7 714 3458

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

  Fav 17 1885 1019

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

  Fav 11 957 647

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure

  Fav 2 1015 565

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

  Fav 5 685 1009

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels

  Fav 1 822 595

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.

  Fav 5 557 383

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit

  Fav 0 51 17

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.

  Fav 0 6 38

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic

  Fav 0 29 119

  share tweet
  

Randomize