Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
