Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize