I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My hand turned me down
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
