It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
