Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
