Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
