she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
