fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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