You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
