I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
