dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
