and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
