There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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