No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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