"it" just moved
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
