I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
